I have a friend who often advises others not to make BIG decisions… on BAD days. That’s good advice any time of the year, but especially now as we are into the holiday season.
Over the next few weeks, many families will spend more time together than they will the rest of the year combined… and this can lead to tensions in any relationship. Add addiction, however, and you’ve got the potential for real fireworks.
We have often spoken here of the stress and strains on family and friends when one of their loved ones is struggling with addiction. And any addiction will do… alcohol, drugs, food, sex, smoking, gambling, pornography, shopping… you name it.
As complex as each can be, they all have this in common… sooner or later, they will devastate the health and finances of your loved one… and they will obliterate the relationship you share.
Little doubt as to why we spend so much time arming you for the battle. After all, for many of you… it will constitute the greatest fight of your life… a fight, in which there is little room for error.
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But today I also want to share another perspective.
Today, as we face the holiday season, I want you to look at the disease of addiction… from the point of view of its victim. I want you to put yourself in the shoes of one racked with guilt and shame… over the lies and the letdowns, the anger and the arguments, the temptations and tirades and tempers.
I want you to feel the fear and the failure, the pain and embarrassment, the loss of self… and sanity.
Please understand that your loved one never wanted things to turn out this way… no one wants to turn out this way. And though they are perfectly willing to crush you… they never wanted to hurt you.
And while we’re at it, they also don’t want cirrhosis, and they don’t want the cancer… they don’t want diabetes and high blood pressure and heart disease. They don’t want to cough anymore… and they don’t want the test results that are waiting for them.
And more than likely, they don’t want you and everyone else to see them… like this.
Getting together with family, with friends, with acquaintances at the church or synagogue… only reinforces their grave condition… only reminds them of all that is missing and broken and hurting.
There is great potential for this not to go well.
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Finally, you need to be aware of one other issue.
The next few weeks will see the biggest spike of the year in suicides among addicts. Right now is when they are at their lowest point… feeling the least capable, the least competent, and the least worthy. If there is ever a time to be vigilant… now is it.
This holiday season, I am going to ask you to give the gift of life… to yourself… to your family and friends… and to your loved one that is suffering.
If this were any other disease, you would have called 911 long ago. I encourage you to pick up the phone and let’s make a plan… a plan to save the life of someone you love. A life that, right now… only you can save.
I look forward to speaking with you… and am available 24/7/365.
(561) 495-3913 Home
(920) 544-1400 Mobile
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