There are many components to addiction… and many substances (and activities) that can be abused. At some time or another, most of us have witnessed or experienced the destructive toll that drug or alcohol abuse can wreak on both individuals and families.
We’ve seen compulsive sexual activity bring down powerful political leaders… or uncontrollable gambling ruin the reputations of popular sports and business figures. And as we watched Uncle Tony get bigger and bigger, co-worker Jill wasted away… obviously, standing by helplessly was not a solution for their food addictions.
Why don’t they all just stop? Answer: Because they can’t… at least, not alone.
But here’s the sad truth… years before their issues made headlines… before the marriage ended… before the embarrassment or the health complications… someone suspected a problem. Addiction, in all its forms, brings with it negative behavioral changes that are impossible to miss… especially if you know what to look for.
When behavior begins to go wrong, is there help available? And if there is help available, can those in the middle of a crisis find it? And will those involved grab the life-preserver before it’s too late? Before there is serious difficulty… before they break the law… before they injure themselves or others… and before they are referred to the criminal justice system.
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Unfortunately, there is a very negative stigma associated with the word “addiction”. Our society views those suffering from it as outcasts… hopeless, nonproductive individuals who are rebellious, irresponsible , and self-centered. In this view, it is widely accepted that if we can heap enough negative consequences on them… enough guilt and shame… yes, enough punishment… we can begin to change their behavior.
Just one question… how’s it working?
Have you noticed the remarkable drop in drug and alcohol use since the ‘war on drugs’ began… or is substance abuse more prevalent than ever? Has pornography stayed consistent over the last generation… or has it proliferated to fill the insatiable demands of sex addiction? With all our technology… with all the studies… with hundreds of millions of dollars in government grants for health sciences… are more or less people suffering from the symptoms of food addiction such as obesity, high blood pressure, diabetes, and heart disease?
No, punishment never works. Shame and guilt reverse the intended effect. Alienation and abandonment cause heartache and broken relationships. And all the while, the answers were right here.
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It is time to shine the light on addiction.
Yes, it is time indeed. Addiction, in all of its forms and with all of its complications, can only exist in the dark. It lives and grows and thrives under a vale of secrecy, denial, and deceit. Recovery begins the moment we acknowledge its existence. Yet, even the best families hide.
Suppose for a moment that an upstanding member of your church had a family member diagnosed with a treatable form of cancer. But here’s where things go wrong. Instead of investigating the best form of treatment… searching for the best oncologist… and evaluating all of the options… they turn around and brand that family member as a black sheep. They get frustrated with him… then angry.
“Just quit it with that tumor already!”
What would you think of that family for ostracizing their loved one at a critical moment? It’s ridiculous isn’t it… but it happens every day with countless people who don’t understand the medical realities of addiction… who are embarrassed, and who just don’t know that there are solutions. These families suffer in silence… they hope… they pray… and when the answer knocks on the door, they say “shhh… we don’t want anyone to see us like this.”
The message here is that it’s okay to come into the light… no, it’s necessary. I want you to know that there is life after addiction… and that you are not alone.
I look forward to speaking with you.
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