If you’re one of the millions of Americans that is about to launch into the new year with a brand new to-do list, you’ve no doubt already given quite some thought to the tasks at hand. And as mentioned here a few weeks ago, there is a good chance that you’ve likely set the same goals before.

First, let me remind you of the top five, and then I’d like to put a little twist on it for you… just a little Shelly wisdom that could make 2010 the most fulfilling year that you’ve had in a very long time.

See if any of these made your list this December:

Lose Weight
Stop Smoking
Quit Drinking
Get Out Of Debt
Fix Broken Relationships

So, what are the common denominators that jump off the page at you?

Now, I told you I wanted to put a twist on this, so before you answer, remove the responses that we’ve already discussed previously… you know, the fact that they can all be tied to addiction, or that they tend to simply repeat over and over and over again.

In fact, remove (just for a minute) the fact that these items have anything to do with addiction. And yes, you actually did hear Shelly Baron just say that! Don’t worry, I’ll bring it full circle in a moment.

But here’s the twist.

The fact that these are the top five resolutions year after year, tells us that one or more of them is on just about everyone’s list… same as twelve months ago. Which means there are plenty of people to help.

So let me make a suggestion.

This year, why not focus on helping just one person check an item off their list? Yes, identify one person in your family… at your work… in your church or synagogue or neighborhood… that has a similar resolution as you, and then team up to help make it a reality.

Yes, team up… as in, we’re in the same boat… we’re headed to the same place… and it’s not a place either of us wish to be. Let’s finally admit the reason we’re here again for the umpteenth time, and then let’s resolve to handle it together. Counseling… Twelve Step Sponsorship… yes, rehab if necessary.

Whatever it takes.

I wish you peace this Holiday Season, and a transformational year in your health and relationships in 2010.

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Over the weekend, I spoke with a minister about the concept of grace… you know, the idea that our Creator offers great blessings and benefits to us that we really don’t deserve.. or that we’ve done nothing to earn.

During this interesting discussion, he brought up a story that was detailed in a Boston Globe article about a wedding celebration that took an unexpected turn at the Boston Hyatt in 1990, ending with the would-be bride showering the cities homeless… with grace.

It seems her former fiancee had gotten cold feet and backed out… leaving her stuck with the facilities rented, and no hope for a refund of the significant deposit that had been made months earlier.

In a move made famous by a 2000 year old parable, she sent messengers out to the streets… to the homeless shelters and missions… to let them know they were invited to a celebration.

As reported… for one evening, the palatial hotel filled with Boston’s lowliest citizens… street-people, beggars… and addicts.

All were welcome.

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The point was that just as the Lord has freely given to us… so we should freely give to others… a very valid point, indeed.

You see, many years ago… I was shown grace.

I was the one who was down and out… sick and overweight… crippled and dying. And I was shown grace… a way out… a path to recovery.

And as the minister spoke, my mind drifted. Drifted back in time to that most important day… September 10th, 1968… the day I began to get my life back.

The day I received grace.

And from that moment, I have tried to carry this message of hope and recovery to alcoholics and addicts of all kinds, and to share the grace that was given to me those many years ago.

I wish you peace this Holiday Season, and look forward to speaking with you soon.

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I have a friend who often advises others not to make BIG decisions… on BAD days. That’s good advice any time of the year, but especially now as we are into the holiday season.

Over the next few weeks, many families will spend more time together than they will the rest of the year combined… and this can lead to tensions in any relationship. Add addiction, however, and you’ve got the potential for real fireworks.

We have often spoken here of the stress and strains on family and friends when one of their loved ones is struggling with addiction. And any addiction will do… alcohol, drugs, food, sex, smoking, gambling, pornography, shopping… you name it.

As complex as each can be, they all have this in common… sooner or later, they will devastate the health and finances of your loved one… and they will obliterate the relationship you share.

Little doubt as to why we spend so much time arming you for the battle. After all, for many of you… it will constitute the greatest fight of your life… a fight, in which there is little room for error.

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But today I also want to share another perspective.

Today, as we face the holiday season, I want you to look at the disease of addiction… from the point of view of its victim. I want you to put yourself in the shoes of one racked with guilt and shame… over the lies and the letdowns, the anger and the arguments, the temptations and tirades and tempers.

I want you to feel the fear and the failure, the pain and embarrassment, the loss of self… and sanity.

Please understand that your loved one never wanted things to turn out this way… no one wants to turn out this way. And though they are perfectly willing to crush you… they never wanted to hurt you.

And while we’re at it, they also don’t want cirrhosis, and they don’t want the cancer… they don’t want diabetes and high blood pressure and heart disease. They don’t want to cough anymore… and they don’t want the test results that are waiting for them.

And more than likely, they don’t want you and everyone else to see them… like this.

Getting together with family, with friends, with acquaintances at the church or synagogue… only reinforces their grave condition… only reminds them of all that is missing and broken and hurting.

There is great potential for this not to go well.

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Finally, you need to be aware of one other issue.

The next few weeks will see the biggest spike of the year in suicides among addicts. Right now is when they are at their lowest point… feeling the least capable, the least competent, and the least worthy. If there is ever a time to be vigilant… now is it.

This holiday season, I am going to ask you to give the gift of life… to yourself… to your family and friends… and to your loved one that is suffering.

If this were any other disease, you would have called 911 long ago. I encourage you to pick up the phone and let’s make a plan… a plan to save the life of someone you love. A life that, right now… only you can save.

I look forward to speaking with you… and am available 24/7/365.

(561) 495-3913 Home
(920) 544-1400 Mobile

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It’s been quite a week!

Since we last spoke, tens of millions of Americans traveled hundreds of millions of miles to meet with loved ones over Thanksgiving… a number of NFL teams moved closer to capturing their spot in post-season play… and the Christmas season officially kicked off with Black Friday buying!

It’s all good.

So, I have to ask myself… why is it that similar patterns of stress, hopelessness, worry, and bad decisions seem to hang over the lives of so many… the very same patterns we’ve seen in them so many times before.

Additionally… I wonder whether, this time, they might actually be interested to look under the tension that seems to envelop them at “this time of year” to find out what may be CAUSING the trouble, the pain, and the uneasiness they feel? Do they even want to know how to address what may be at the root of their “seasonal depression”, as it is referred to by the media?

More to the point, are they willing to be really honest about WHY their relationships are so strained… and to look at the role THEY may have played in creating the current turmoil? Further, what about THEIR OWN ability to hurt others right now… to say, and do, the wrong things?

You must know… the symptoms of every addiction look similar.

Over the weekend, while standing in line at a grocery store… a simple greeting offered to a fellow shopper of, “So, did you have a nice Thanksgiving?” was reason enough to open a multi-party discussion among strangers about how stressful “this time of year” can be.
How much pain and trepidation must have been boiling just under the surface for all of that to come out?

“I just hate this time of year,” said one. “I know it’s wrong, but that’s how I feel.”

Said another, “I’m just looking forward to getting through the next five weeks.”

“Yes!” exclaimed the clerk at the checkout. “Here’s to 2010!”

The question, of course, is… What is going to be so different about next year?

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Here are the top five New Year’s Resolutions that people will focus on in the coming weeks:

Lose Weight
Stop Smoking
Quit Drinking
Get Out Of Debt
Fix Broken Relationships

Sound familiar?

It is interesting to note that, regardless of demographics or geographical location, the same desires and concerns wind through our culture. And they all have TWO THINGS in common.

First, without doubt, addiction is likely present in all of them. Excess use of food, tobacco, and alcohol are inextricably bound to one’s inability to manage or control it themselves. And where addiction is present, financial and relational issues are sure to exist.

Every time.

The second thing they have in common is that, without exception… they are the exact same resolutions as last year! That’s right, the same concerns that are on everyone’s mind right now, were on everyone’s mind a year ago… and likely, the year before that as well!

Here’s why.

Addiction, by it’s very nature, is progressive… it gets worse over time, not better. And, it has proven to be stronger than the human will… meaning, you CANNOT SIMPLY RESOLVE to beat it!

Need proof?

Without help… without getting to the CAUSE… the average “New Year’s Resolution” will last less than three weeks into January. After a few short days of struggle with whatever withdrawal comes along, over 93% of American’s will cave.

They will go back to using the substance (in the case of addictions to food, drugs, tobacco, and alcohol)… or to doing the behavior (in the case of addictions to gambling, shopping, pornography, and the like).

And in each case, they will tell themselves that they are simply regrouping to fight another day.

Unfortunately, the truth is that they are killing themselves… One Day At A Time.

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This Holiday Season, regardless of your religious traditions or the lack of them, may your life be filled to capacity with the peace and joy that come when you end the insanity of addiction.

My wish is that the next year will bring health and happiness to your lives, and warm and loving relationships. Together, we can make it happen.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

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By the time you read this, your thoughts may already be wandering… after all, for many this is one of the shortest work-weeks of the year.

In just a few more hours… or another day or two… it is estimated that half of America will be traveling, on their way to see the other half that is waiting with food and fellowship.

Yes, Thanksgiving Day 2009 is upon us.

And if you are fortunate, you will experience a time of peace… of truly giving thanks. And it’s not just your mood being uplifted by all the added Tryptophan in the turkey, or the fact that you’re rooting for the right football team on Thursday afternoon… though those things help!

No, there are much more important things than that… for this holiday has a rich history.

Beginning with the first sit-down dinner between the Plymouth Pilgrims and the Wampanoag tribe in 1621, and later formally signed into law by President Abraham Lincoln in 1863, Thanksgiving Day has come to symbolize our gratefulness for the most important gifts we possess in this world… our relationships with family and friends.

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But what if your mind is wandering for another reason?

What if right now the stress of torn relationships and hurt feelings is causing a desire to do anything EXCEPT give thanks? What if the thought of another ruined holiday seems more than you and your family can bear?

Unfortunately, for millions of our fellow citizens and for our brothers and sisters around the globe, this holiday only serves to remind of a darker side of relationships… those broken and bruised by the hurt of addiction.

Addiction, whether to alcohol or drugs… food, sex, gambling, smoking, shopping, pornography, or anything else… has a field day during the holidays. It destroys hope, casts doubt on recovery, and leaves everyone involved with less joy, less strength, and less belief that things can ever be good again.

And addiction survives as a lie.

Often disguised as something else, it shows up at your party in the form of your loved one’s illness… a symptom such as high blood pressure, heart disease, obesity, cancer, or diabetes.

Or maybe it is their behavior which uncontrollably manifests as guilt, shame, and embarrassment… or deceit, denial, or blame.

In any event, it saps the life and energy of the family… and, if you are going through this, you know that it can lock in your resignation just a little further that things will never change…

That is, of course… unless you get involved.

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I want to encourage you now.

I want you to know that if your family is struggling… if you are on edge because of addiction… if you don’t know where to turn and believe you have tried everything… yes, even then… this can be the last holiday that you need to feel like this.

Help… and a plan… are as close as your telephone or e-mail. It’s time to find out how good life can be again.

Yes, it is time to be thankful for ALL of your relationships… for ALL of the help and knowledge that’s available. It’s time to be thankful for your loved one’s opportunity for recovery and healing.

And in return, one day… your loved one will be thankful for you. I’ve seen it happen over nine thousand times, and I look forward to seeing it now with your family also.

Let’s speak soon, and until then… I wish you a truly Blessed Thanksgiving.

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I meet a lot of people… always have.

And one thing has always amazed me… it doesn’t matter whether they’re young or old, or whether they’re Black, White, Red, Yellow or Green. For that matter, Married, Single, Widowed, or Divorced… and all Political and Religious persuasions seem to share this behavior.

Yes, as different as people can be… it’s incredible how often I hear the same few words within minutes of our introduction.

“Wow, really… an addiction Counselor…? Oh, I know someone who could really use your help… I’ll pass along your name and number.”

The only change over the years is that now I hear it in many more venues… comments on my website… in my e-mail… on Facebook and Twitter.

“This is so great, Shelly! I just KNOW you can help them… I mean, I sure HOPE you can help them… I’ll have ‘em call you.”

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Now, those are nice sentiments… and I understand you truly desire to help. But you must hear what I am about to say next… because addiction is a matter of life and death. If YOU do not help them, the situation WILL get worse… and there is a strong likelihood that you WILL lose them.

And that is SO UNNECESSARY.

There are three things I want to share with you this very minute… some bad news, some good news, and a decision that you need to make.

First, the bad news. If addiction really is at the root of the problem, you must know that the addict is not looking for help… not from you, and certainly not from me.

Regardless of whether their addiction is to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, gambling, shopping, pornography, or any other substance, behavior, or activity… they have already tried many times to control it or stop it… and they now need their fix like you and I need to breathe.

You can give them one hundred numbers… they aren’t calling.

Next, the good news. In over thirty-five years, having successfully treated over nine thousand patients and their families, I have NEVER met an addict that could not be helped… IF, and this is a BIG if… IF we get to them in time.

Let me say it again… I have NEVER met an addict that could not be helped… never, not one… if, we get to them before it’s too late.

And this is the point… the decision that YOU need to make, because unfortunately, MANY families wait until it IS too late to reach out and get help.

Addiction is always progressive.

Without treatment, it always gets worse… first trashing relationships, and then the addict’s health. Ultimately, left to run its course, it will claim the life of your loved one, years… possibly decades… early.

And the family’s most common first response?

Whether based in their own guilt, embarrassment, or shame… their desire to control it themselves or keep a lid on it… or, their own form of denial that keeps them from admitting the truth and severity of their loved one’s illness, condition, and prognosis for the future… many families do nothing.

Or, as stated earlier, they give out my phone number… and suggest the addict call… which, while it feels good for the moment… is really next to nothing.

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Please accept this with the love in which it is offered.

Together, we can help your loved one… and yes, they really can have their hope… their future… and their life back. You… can have them back.

But we can’t do it with text messages, can’t do it over e-mail or Facebook or Twitter, and we can’t do it… without you getting involved.

Pick up the phone and make the call yourself. Or reach out through ANY of these other means and give me your number so that we can connect and put together a plan to save the person you love.

I look forward to speaking with you soon.

(561) 495-3913 Home
(920) 544-1400 Cell

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I happened to run into an old acquaintance recently who has struggled for years with food addiction. I had never met her husband before… it was a pleasure to finally put a face with a name, and also to connect a few dots.

You see, throughout the years we have known each other, our conversations often revolved around issues of addiction and recovery… particularly, the circumstances regarding her vicious cycle of abstinence and relapse.

Periodically, as we’d see each other, she’d ask how long it had been for me… and then mention that she currently had three weeks on a program. Three weeks on… some time off… three weeks on… some time off.

Over and over and over again… for years.

Now, it’s no surprise that when you work in the field of addiction, you tend to run into a lot of people whose lives are turned upside down by the disease, and who struggle daily with maintaining their sobriety. But for some, that hill is significantly steeper than others… and it is made so by the environment in which they live.

Such was the case with my old friend.

Yes, she is once again abstinent… at least for the moment. However, her husband, clearly, is not… and the stress of that relationship and the temptation of living with those products in the cupboard has obviously been, at least to this point, too much to bear.

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One of the great benefits of living in a tropical climate like Florida is the availability of great tasting, healthy, naturally nutritious food.

And not just 24/7… but more importantly, 365 days a year!

The selection of fresh fruits and vegetables is unmatched, and makes for a mini-paradise for someone like myself who has also lived for decades with food addiction. For me, at least, it is truly a breath of fresh air.

But as good as it is… we are still surrounded by all of the commodities and substances that could end our sobriety today. We are bombarded by advertising and entertainment that promote an addictive culture… and by industries that prosper even as we succumb.

And the struggle is similar, regardless of the addiction. To be sure, with the exception of illicit street drugs… most of our vices are perfectly legal, and their promoters are taxpaying business men and women who are just responding to societal demands.

Yes, in fact… addicts make for a predictable and sustainable target market.

As individuals who are struggling with our addictions to alcohol, prescription drugs, food, sex, gambling, smoking, pornography or shopping, we tend to be pretty good consumers… and our next fix is as close as the grocery store or doctor’s office, the casino or gas station, the mall or the Internet or the kitchen counter.

When viewed from this perspective, it is easy to understand relapse. Staying sober and healthy, “One Day At A Time”, is not so simple… when we live those 24 hours in a sick environment.

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You have often heard me say that your loved one’s recovery begins the moment you decide to be committed… to get involved. And that is a commitment… and involvement… that never ends.

Yes, I am saying that to a great degree, the very success or failure of your loved one’s recovery is dependent on you.

And therein lies the challenge.

Because most family members… most friends… don’t know what to do. Further… they may not want to change their own habits and behaviors that could be contributing to the continuance of the addiction, and the hindrance of recovery.

But there is hope.

The ability to work with families and friends to change the environment is the foundation of every successful program. There ARE rehabs that understand this… there ARE counselors who understand this.

I… understand this.

In over thirty-five years, having successfully treated more than 9000 patients AND THEIR FAMILIES, this has been the secret… the key to success for over 96% of those who came through the doors.

You, are that key… make the call. I look forward to speaking with you soon.

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This past Saturday, I was up at 5:15am… the same as virtually every other day. And while I suppose there are those who would prefer to sleep in… or, for that matter, go to bed early… I just can’t do it.

Call it passion… call it a mission, but there are simply too many things to do… and FAR TOO MANY people to help… and nothing gets done lounging in bed, or sitting by the pool sipping iced tea.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I didn’t say that I don’t enjoy the pool… in fact, a daily swim is one of the reasons I’m up every morning before dawn. And it’s no longer iced tea… it’s now ULTRA-NUTRITIOUS GREEN SMOOTHIES… but more on that in a few minutes.

Yes, EXERCISE and HEALTHY NUTRITION are essential to sober living… a necessary and intentional part of every day… and Saturday was definitely a special day.

You see, it was a celebration for me… an anniversary. Actually, the truth is that it was a public recognition of the forty-one years of sobriety that I achieved on September 10th… right in the middle of my move to beautiful Delray Beach, Florida.

Yes, forty-one years of clean living… having literally come back from death’s door.

And all this I say, NOT TO BE dramatic, but to let you know that a great life is available to you, or your loved ones, once again. After all, I was given just six months to live… in 1968.

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We spent the last eight weeks here, speaking of the link between the treatment of addiction, and the inevitable gaps in our current health care system. On all fronts, we have gotten very good at RECOGNIZING and TREATING SYMPTOMS… while the CAUSES remain elusive.

This course of action sentences our loved ones to try to LIVE WITH and MANAGE disease, and CAUSES a chain of events in which one health challenge leads to another, and then another… ultimately claiming their life many years, or even decades, early.

Naturally, this is devastating to anyone dealing with serious health challenges, and it is an especially common, unnecessary, and painful prescription for those individuals and families who are suffering from COMPLETELY TREATABLE addictions to alcohol, pharmaceutical and illicit drugs, food, sex, pornography, gambling, and more.

It is interesting that seventy-five years after Bill Wilson gained his sobriety, and seventy-one years after he formally organized and published the suggested Twelve Steps for recovery, the people who should be “in the know”, are very often still “in the dark”!

And yes, this does tie back to my opening story about rising early, and getting plenty of exercise and proper nutrition. After all, when we don’t feel good about ourselves… we are more at risk to fall backwards.

You see, regardless of the type of addiction, we know that certain activities must be maintained… and others avoided… if we are to preserve our sobriety.

For example, we stay out of environments that promote the substance or behavior to which we are addicted. We change the routines and conduct that are associated with our addiction, and replace them with life-giving actions and relationships that support our recovery.

We seek professional help when necessary, and form strong bonds and friendships with others who have gone before… those who can share their experience, strength, and hope at the time we need it most.

And we observe and are aware of triggers that might CAUSE a relapse… be they substances like alcohol, drugs, tobacco, and food… behaviors like gambling and pornography… or the dangerous circumstances of being HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, or TIRED.

Yes, once sober… we must stand vigilant for life… one day at a time.

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To help alleviate the physical and emotional stress that can come during recovery, I want to introduce you to a nutritional concept that I believe will help you in the event you or someone you love is involved in any form of addiction or negative health circumstances.

And no, this IS NOT an additional step!

Packed with vitamin-rich fruits and vegetables, GREEN SMOOTHIES are a delicious and highly effective way to super-charge your immune system, and provide a natural shot of extreme nutrition that can help stabilize your appetite, mood, self esteem, and energy.

In short, they can assist in keeping you from getting hungry, angry, lonely, and tired… the circumstances that are present just prior to so many relapses.

For further information, I encourage you to visit the website of Victoria Boutenko, and consider the information that is listed there… including, and this is my favorite… a book packed with simple and simply delicious recipes called Green Smoothie Revolution.

Yet another great resource is The Green Foods Bible by David Sandoval, which can be ordered from Purium Health Products, or your favorite online bookstore.

Finally, as you find additional materials, please share them with me also… I look forward to hearing from you.

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Over the past seven weeks, we’ve looked at the health care debate from the viewpoint of the POLITICIANS and the MEDICAL COMMUNITY… the PHARMACEUTICAL and INSURANCE COMPANIES… the FITNESS INDUSTRY, our JUSTICE SYSTEM, and even the MEDIA.

We’ve pointed out waste, fraud, and hypocrisy… ignorance and indifference.

So, what if we told you today that the solution to the entire health care crisis… yes, the answer to to eliminating much of ALL disease in the country… lay within one industry… and one set of behaviors that are common amongst our people?

Well, that’s exactly what is happening… and it’s nothing new. You see, we wrote about it back in March, in an article entitled The Trouble With Food Addiction, and we’ve spoken of it many times since.

Yes, our nation’s Treasury-breaking health care crisis is rooted in a “national health crisis”… an epidemic of anorexia and obesity that affects two out of every three adults in America.

An epidemic that the FOOD INDUSTRY is only too happy to support.

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So let’s look at handling the CAUSE of disease.

According to the U.S. Government Center for Disease Control, fully two-thirds of the adult population in our country is now either over weight or obese. And for the first time ever, the percentage of those who are obese is greater than those who are merely overweight!

So grab your calculator, and see if our practice of LIFETIME PRESCRIPTIONS to treat the OBESITY’s SYMPTOMS adds up. On second thought, leave the calculator… it doesn’t go that high.

According to Stanford Hospitals and Clinics, obesity is a MAJOR HEALTH RISK and CAUSE of:

* high blood pressure
* stroke
* diabetes
* heart disease
* joint problems and osteoarthritis, leading to surgical replacements
* sleep apnea and respiratory problems
* cancer of the breast, colon, gallbladder, uterus, and prostate, and
* metabolic syndrome, which includes elevated blood cholesterol, and issues with inflammation and clotting.

Other studies site a plethora of additional ailments, including liver and kidney disease.

So let’s get to the CAUSE.

If obesity is at the root of many instances of these diseases, wouldn’t it make sense to look deeper to find the CAUSE of obesity? Why will diet and weight loss be at the top of so many New Year’s Resolution lists this year… and why will so many people fail to stay “resolved”?

Organizations like Food Addicts Anonymous (FAA), and Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) have for years identified substances like sugar, flour, and wheat in our diets that trigger the pancreas to go into hyperdrive… overproducing insulin, and CAUSING blood-sugar levels to alternately spike and then crash.

CAUSING… uncontrolled binge eating or drinking, with withdrawal SYMPTOMS similar to every other addiction.

Unfortunately, a food addict’s fix is legally available in every grocery store, and at fast food establishments on every corner.

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Now please, this is not to say that the FOOD INDUSTRY is force feeding the American public unhealthy food. No, in fact… they are giving a nation of addicts exactly what we want.

Our bodies crave sugar… and they merely provide it in every imaginable form. From Corn Syrup to Aspartame… and Dextrose to Fructose… over ninety substances in our food react with our body to have the same effect as sugar… and lead down the same road to excess weight and obesity.

And the FOOD INDUSTRY’s powerful lobby and marketing efforts insure that the problem won’t be going away soon.

After all, the truth is… it’s just good business. Super-sized products and super-sized people = super-sized profits.

Unfortunately… it also comes with a super-sized health care price tag.

Please join us in getting the word out. Contact your nearest FAA or FA office for more information and resources. And please forward this message to your appropriate political and industry leaders, and yes… your news outlets.

The White House
The U.S. Senate
The U.S. House of Representatives

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